1 big year

Have you noticed recently that time has really started to fly by? I mean we are nearly at the end of 2013! Where did this past year go?! Don’t you love when people say that? Well, I personally, know exactly where this year went…Exactly one year ago, nearly to the date; Jay and I basically became parents overnight. Little man has officially been with us for an entire year. It has been the most confusing, crazy, at times frustrating, yet beautiful year of our lives.

Jay and I, like most new parents, have taken hundreds of pictures throughout the year and I recently put together a book for little man detailing this past year with us, so as I said before, I know exactly where this past year went. It is amazing to see this little one's HUGE transformation. Our first few days/nights looked something like what you see to the right.

He slept on the floors, he was scared, his vocabulary wasn’t strong and he had no way to talk about his fears. He had no idea what was going on and neither did we! He cried a lot, we cried a lot. But slowly, he started coming out of his shell. We grew into each other so to speak. We have, as our family likes to call it, a “new normal”. And we have noticed our little one, isn’t so little anymore. He is growing and learning, and he has truly changed by leaps and bounds. He has quite a vocabulary now too. He has what I call “J” isms. Here are a few of my favorites thus far:

1.)     I no eat all my veg-a-tables cause then I get too big and break you ceiling.

2.)     Tomorrow is bring you fruit snacks to school, so I have more fruit snacks now?

3.)     What is my chocolate milk doing right now? (while in the car,  miles away from his chocolate milk)

4.)     I no go potty now, I just went yest-a-day.

5.)    (While throwing a tantrum and yelling at me) Me:  please come here, Him: “NO, IM BUSY”.

6.)    “Why do you keep doing this?!” (while being put into time out)

7.)     Why you pee in my bed? (for the record I did no such thing)

Everyday he is saying and doing more and more things. He is silly and funny, sweet yet spunky, independent, loving, smart, energetic, …in other words, he is more than we could have ever hoped for and I think we are doing pretty good for our first year!

There are however, the challenging medical issues that seem to always face our “J”. After we finally got caught up on over a dozen vaccinations, he was still getting sick pretty often. He was also snoring something awful (much like a 50 year old overweight man with sleep apnea). He underwent surgery for adenoid and tonsil removal with ear tube placement in May. We have been consistently treating whole body eczema with various creams and lotions.  This past month he was diagnosed with asthma requiring at least two breathing treatments a day (sometimes up to 5!), and now is currently having some tummy trouble that could end up being a lactose intolerance issue.

So, basically, everything we learned in the hours of adoption education mandated by our agency and the country of Ethiopia, ranging from “Bringing home an older child” (above the age of two), “Disciplining the adopted child”, and “Common Medical Issues” has proved invaluable! We never even thought those educational sessions would be of value in “our adoption situation”, but again, God works in such CRAZY ways! He knew what we needed to learn, not only for our international baby, but our little man right now. I get chills thinking back on the last year and seeing how God beautifully prepared us for “J” prior to him ever stepping foot in our home. And “J” is preparing us even more for our Ethiopian child and the near certain issues and concerns we will face with them during their first year home.

                    (this pic was done on a recent family photo shoot)

I have to say, I continue to be a bit nervous about our future, much like I have been from the start. We take every day at a time, and consider each day with little man a blessing (even when we are on our 15^th tantrum of the day because the banana we handed him broke into two halves prior to him eating it all).  I guess that’s what not knowing what the next day holds, teaches you….to be especially thankful for each and every moment you get. I know that sometimes in our busy lives we can begin to take things for granted, and so in a weird way, our unknown circumstances are a beautiful gift from a very loving Creator. He is definitely making us lean into him in a very dramatic way, but I think he does some of His greatest work when we do just that.

On the Ethiopian adoption forefront, not to much news lately. A few referrals from last month (2), so once again small movement. November is national adoption month. If you haven’t already, please consider asking your congressman to back the Children in Families First Act (CHIFF). It helps to do just that. This legislation redirects U.S. resources to focus more on ensuring that all children grow up in a family and helps to cut some of the red tape that is such a hindrance now and this is both domestically and internationally. More information can be found at Http://childreninfamiliesfirst.org

Lastly, in honor of National Adoption month, I wanted to give a huge “You Guys are Amazing” shout out to a family from my hometown, The Tipton’s. They are currently in Costa Rica, adopting not 1, but 3 kiddos there! They listened to God’s calling, and their family of 4 just officially became a family of 7! Their story can be found on their blog at http://www.openhandsandopendoors.blogspot.com

So exciting to watch and read about this family’s adventures through the adoption journey!

Social visits

This is the symbol for adoption

Ask anyone who has ever or is in the process of adopting about paperwork, and I bet you will hear an earful about the extreme AMOUNT required along the entire process. We are officially well into a year of our referral wait, and recently met with our social worker to update our home study. Once again, we had to trudge through another hill of paperwork prior. I call it a hill this time around as it is not nearly as an exhaustive process when simply updating. After some discussion and careful reflection we decided to add ourselves onto the girls waitlist along with our wait on the boys list. Luckily for us we don’t end up at the bottom of the girls list when we jumped on, in fact, we were added as if we were on both lists the whole time. I would probably feel bad if we still had waitlist numbers, because it would appear to those behind us that no movement was made, however there is no more waitlist numbers, so no hard feelings.

We will likely need at least two more updates to our home study prior to our referral, and may continue to make changes as we see fit, but for now we will remain on both lists for a baby less than 12 months old. We did consider increasing our age parameters, and may in the future, however we have to maintain birth order in our home (per our adoption agency policy), and our little guy is three now, so our Ethiopian baby needs to be at least 10 months younger than him. Little man has been with us nearly one year already (can hardly believe it!). His story into this process is discussed IN THIS POST

Speaking of little man, this summer was a blast with him. He loves swimming, is a great traveler, and loves being outside enjoying the sunshine! Our social worker met little man during our visit, and deemed him suitably adjusted to our home. While we think he is doing great, it is always helpful to hear from professionals how well your child is doing and adapting.

I cannot begin to explain what a joy he has been for Jay and I. When we were first thrown into this “parenting thing” we were overwhelmed, scared, and anxious. Sure we had started the adoption process, but figured we had a solid two and half years before we became parents. We could still grow up a little ourselves! We had plenty of time to read books, and watch a couple of our friends try their hands at parenting before we actually did. Then, in one day, everything changed. Little man was here with little notice, and we started the most exciting chapter to our lives to date! In the beginning, we had no clue what we were doing, but we trusted God and together (all three of us) we figured it out. Looking back, I see how this sweet little boy has paved the way for our future dive into international adoption. More importantly, his story in all of this gives us a strength we honestly didn’t know we had. Adoption is not for the faint of heart. As I have heard some describe it, “You never really know what you’re going to get”. One of the main reasons we started the adoption process with our sights on an infant was largely due to the fact that they would have little to no recollection of their life prior to us. They wouldn’t struggle as much with adapting and their questions regarding their past would likely be simpler (if there is such a thing) to answer. Trust me, I know how this makes Jay and I look, like cowards in one-way or another. But, God had other plans, and suddenly we were thrown into parenting a toddler, with an excellent memory, who comes with a lot of “extraneous circumstances” and in time our preconceived ridiculous notions were thrown right out the window. We have come to learn what any adoptive parent will tell you, that kids of all ages need love, and nothing is too much for God to handle. In His loving hands, children will prosper and scars can heal, and tough questions will have answers. I love having found the knowledge that we CAN do this. We ARE doing this, not internationally, domestically, but doing it nonetheless. What I hope more than anything is that those who think that adopting an older child, one with possible “baggage” and “special needs” is to much for them, would understand that behind what you think YOUR doing, God’s doing something even bigger, and HE is working through you for the good of that kiddo. Be open to His leading, to His ways. They are GOOD after all….

My favorite part of our visit with our social worker was perhaps when little man pointed out the framed Africa picture located in our living room. He told her, matter of factley, that that’s where our baby is coming from. I have to add that he plans to share most of his toys with the new baby….except his orange bike.

Ethiopian Education:

Recently, Ethiopia celebrated New Years (Sept 11), so I wanted to welcome everyone into 2006…again! As you may recall, they have a different calendar known as the Ge’ez calender.