Our day in court

As the judge entered the courtroom, my heart began to pound loudly, my palms became instantly sweaty, and a flood of emotions swept over. To my left sat my amazing husband, the one who has stood by my family and I through thick and thin. We have been through an awful lot for still being considered newlyweds, including the events that had led us to that very moment. We were in this together…for better or worse. To our left sat our lawyer, a veteran when it came to these matters. We had spoken on the phone and through various emails, but meeting for the first time that day, did nothing to ease our fears regarding our current “legal matters”. Behind us sat the reason for that day. He was squirming a little in the over sized chair he was sitting in. He was nervous too, though he didn’t know why. My mother and aunt were seated behind us as well. They shot nervous smiles to Jay and I while attempting to quiet the bustle of commotion at the back of the room.

We were sworn in under oath, and our testimonies began. At first there were simple questions; state your name, address, occupation…then, as I assume all lawyers do, he began to dig in deeper.

“Mrs. Reichert, please describe the situation that leads us here today.” Where do I start? Do I start with what I thought was our plan from the beginning? How far back do I go? Back to when we first started praying for him shortly after his birth in 2010? Back to 2012 when we first said, “yes” to God? Do I talk about how we had unknowingly been preparing for this for the last two years? Do they care to hear how God’s timing is perfect, how much his grace and love has been laced through this whole situation from the start? I shorten up the details surrounding our “situation” the judge, after all, has the file lying in front of him, as does the lawyer. I describe the events that took place 14 months ago, as well as the circumstances from that time that have led us to court on a blistery cold January day.

The judge listens intently, and in a rather wise grandfather like tone he says, “It is not for us to criticize other people’s choices in life, or their circumstances with which they choose to live. However, even their poorest choices can lead to some of our greatest blessings, as we can clearly see here today.”

Jay and I both nodded in total agreement.

“Mr. And Mrs. Reichert, please explain to the court how you have adapted to this situation and describe, please, the bonds that have been formed”. I begin to try to answer the question, but how does one describe the bond of love? Lots of poets and songwriters have tried over the years and not one has successfully completed the task.  I notice quickly that all the eyes in the courtroom are not on me anymore, and no one appears to be paying much attention to my answer. They instead are focused on the little one at the back of the room. He had gotten off his chair and had made his way to our table. He quietly climbed up into Jay’s lap, reached his little arms around Jay’s neck, and nestled his head on Jay’s shoulder. The judge smiles, and says, “A picture is worth a thousand words. I don’t need to hear about bonds forming, when I am seeing it so perfectly right in front of me. I watched him get off his chair and walk right up to his daddy. He didn’t ask for permission, he didn’t have to say a word. He knows, right there on your lap Mr. Reichert, he is safe, he is important, and he is loved.”

We have traveled home hundreds of times with Jayden, our little man, in tow. But, for the first time after our court date, we brought him home officially as our son. We have officially started our family through adoption. This was not what we saw coming two years ago, and he certainly is not the international delight we were expecting when I started this blog, but this story/his story was beautifully written none-the-less. From the moment he entered our lives and our home he has been an amazing and perfect addition to our family.

We are going to continue with our international adoption, though the when and (and now possibly) the where are still largely unknown….so for now, “until God opens the next door, we will praise him in the hallway”.

Say it aint so....

Oh Ethiopia, how you tear at my heartstrings! Well, as we assumed, there is more bad news on the Ethiopian adoption forefront. We received an email from our agency regarding a press conference made by the House of Peoples’ Representatives and the Ministry of Women, Children, and Youth. They are urging stakeholders and the public to undertake integrated work to totally STOP the adoption of Ethiopian children to foreign families. They urge everyone to work closely to end foreign adoption COMPLETELY.

My heart continues to break for this country and most importantly for the children living without families within its borders. The country of Ethiopia has heard of abuse allegations, and while these stories are not nearly a majority, they do unfortunately occur. As such, they are calling for initiatives to facilitate situations to raise children within their own communities. They did attempt to speak on these “initiatives” however and focus only on halting adoptions as their Golden plan.

There is obviously little I like about this news, except for possibly the realization that Ethiopia SHOULD start taking action to care for its children. Because, while I dream of bringing home our child from Ethiopia, I know our adoption comes at a high price, that of abandonment. Helping families keep their kiddos is and should be the best solution to the orphan crisis. Furthermore, I know God never plans for a child to be born and abandoned. That is not Gods “first plan” per se. God is good, and I know that He loves families. But, as we all know, we live in a very broken world, one where poverty, sickness, death, and abandonment seem to flourish. Luckily, we have a brilliant God who has wonderfully beautiful “back up” plans. I was reminded of His greatest back up plan again over the holidays…Of course nothing catches God off guard. Nothing makes him scratch his head and say, “wow, I really didn’t see that coming!” He knows everything after all. And Jesus may well have been his “Golden Plan” from the start. So, I yearn to see what comes out of this new development and how God will move in the country of Ethiopia. I pray it will involve aid to the sick and poor in that country. I have been praying for a revolution and maybe this is it….

I have to admit though, that it is very discouraging news for countless families waiting in adoption limbo…such as the Reicherts. I personally have been feeling a little down about our adoption recently, mostly because I’ve been pondering about whether we heard God wrong in the first place. We truly felt like God told us to start our adoption journey, and in turn our family, 2 years ago, from the country of Ethiopia. And so, we did. But low and behold, we became instant parents to the furthest thing to an African infant out there; a blond haired, blue-eyed 2½ year-old fair skinned family member from Ohio!  Since that moment, we have basically heard nothing but disheartening news out of Ethiopia. So, did we hear wrong?

I really cant answer that question, mainly because I’m still waiting to see how much crazier this journey is going to get. What I do know is that our adoption preparedness has and continues to guide us with our current little guy and for that we are thankful. I know that sometimes when we say “yes” to God, the original plan isn’t at all what you thought it would be, but that doesn’t mean it wasn’t the Golden plan from the start. Lastly, I know that we still feel a very strong calling for orphan care. I don’t know what our “back up” plan is, but I do know that for now we are going to simply wait on God to lead us again.

Please pray for the country of Ethiopia, for the families in limbo, and most importantly for the children laying in orphanages waiting for families.